*Games*

This life is a circus...filled with all types of characters and creatures..... I'm just trying not to be the main attraction..........

China Rice

Are you hungry

Thanks to my Sis Tara I've been really thinking about some of the things she said about how singles should prepare before marriage. Basically If you're single and waiting on ur mate start acting like a husband/wife. If you're a male start grooming your self spiritually/naturally to be able to cover a household...it's more than just being a provider you have to have that spiritual insight to lead your family in the direction God has purposed for your home.

Us women have to get in the mindstate of being a wife, submitting to God in preparation for submission to our mate... (that means getting rid of my black nail polish and my spoiled ways hahahahah) We have to be able to cover our husband in prayer and be able to hear from God also concerning the plans for the family...It's more than just being able to lay on your back or fry some good chicken (although that's needed lol)..you have to be willing to give of yourself to help that man meet destiny.

 I love where I am right now in regards to my level of contentment. I'm a little hungry but I sure "ain't" starving lol I'm enjoying this time God has given me alone with him and I'm learning and examining myself daily.

 I know I'm worth so much more than what I have been settling for. Not saying I want to be single forever...I do desire to be married one day but I'm in no rush because right now I'm falling in love with God. I'm excited to see the one God has chosen for me b/c I know he will be everything I need in husband and everything I want in a man.

So don't take it personal if I'm not trying to kick it with you... I'm just done playing the dating game....I know what I want in a man and I refuse to settle for less than what I'm willing to give..... it's time to stop running the streets and come on in the house with the grown folks.

xoxo
China Rice

The Truth about Bandaids

Sometimes the deepest cuts are internal. We walk around with fake smiles on our faces thinking we're fooling the world but inside we're bleeding to death. As a preteen I used to cut myself to find solace from the internal pain I felt. The relief it gave me was only temporary...so often times I would have to do it more just to cope. I would hide my arms so people couldn't see my cuts or what the Lord later showed me were my (BANDAIDS)..or my temporary fix to a far greater internal issue. I don't know who this is for but God led me to share this with you... what you are doing to yourself is only masking the pain. (The Sex/Masturbation, The drugs, The alcohol, The eating, some the compulsive shopping) It's only a bandaid covering your infected wound. It's not healing the cut it's only numbing it. And until you let someone exam and disinfect it the infection will only spread into other areas of your life...One bandaid will multiple in to 2,3, 4....You'll wake up saying how did I get here?... I never been one to drink but now I'm drinking..or I don't know why I'm eating so much now and gaining so much weight...it's A BANDAID. There is a solution..Glory to God! I found this Healer One day..Isaiah 53:5 "But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be WHOLE. He was WHIPPED so we could be HEALED." Only Christ can heal that internal wound......take your bandaids off and let Him exam you and find the infection and take it out.........you think you're doing a good job hiding it but trust me everyone sees your cuts.

 China Rice

Barbie and Ken

We met on a whim
Saw past the exterior into the heart of him
Beauty for ashes
Perfection sought in every facet
Never felt like I’d be
all that he’d ever need
then again I always wondered was it me
Was I the one
or just something for fun
passing the time away
Loving me today
But regretting the day you said let’s see where this goes.
Only God knows the true extent of our love
I wish him nothing but the best
Desiring nothing less than what He projects
It ended in a mess
Sunshine eclipsed by stress
Was it just another test
but I met him on a whim
Saw past the exterior into the heart of him
Beauty for ashes
Perfection sought in every facet
The love I thought was real turned out to be genuine plastic.

*China Rice

Black n Blue - China Rice

Some  may not ever gain the strength to leave their abusive relationships, while others find hope in the possibility of love without scars. This is a poem a wrote from a battered woman's perspective after finally escaping her abuser.




At the darkest segment of night, I ride along the summer's wind
The stars gently lead the way to the reflection of my loved skin
I tried to fight the urge to leave,
by starting over again
I wrote my life at the rivers coast,
praying when sanity wears thin
the salt from my tears stain the boardwalk pier,
As the onlookers pass without a glance
I imagine the way it used to be,
before we gave emotions a chance
I’m reminded of my love for you,
and how you shut yours down
looking for you in the shadows
but only my footprints are found.
I loved the way you held me tight... and hugged away my fears.
The only thing left of this broken mess
is my black n blue traced tears.

He's a Keeper - "God can keep you if you want to be kept!"

There is a saying my Pastor often uses when addressing the congregation on the power of God’s ability to sustain you..

I seemed to hear it ringing in my ears more so when the temptation arises to sin.

But what I love most about my Pastor is God has given her this ability to empathize with the struggle of the people.

She realizes that life isn’t always filled with mountain top experiences… and that some of us are just climbing out of the trenches of sin while others ae slowly being consumed by it.

See she would tell us with confidence… “God can keep you, if you want to be kept!”…When I first heard that some years ago I was like “Mannnn…. I don’t know about that….I’m young…I’m in my prime…most of these people in this church are married and have been forEVER....... I need God to move like yesterday!”

 

I couldn’t believe that it was that simple….. “God can keep you if you want to be kept?” Prove it!

My analytical mind couldn’t comprehend that the desire for “things” like sex, partying, money, power, food, drugs, or just sin could be eliminated by just a need to stop.

If that was the case why couldn’t I stop a long time ago….God knew that I needed to stop sinning….. so why didn’t he just MAKE me stop.

As I grew in Christ I found out that what I failed to realize then was that there was a big conjunction that connected those two powerful phrases together…… that one word (IF) held the key to my freedom.   

So I began to look at what she was saying again….now this time as two parts that when brought together made a whole lot of sense.

I realized that In order to be kept “I” had to want to be.

 God had already desired that I be whole and not perish that’s what His word said 2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 

Soooo He was waiting for me to repent, because he wanted me to stop…But in order for me to be “kept” it took two consenting participants…both God and myself.

God had already kept his end of the agreement by not only providing the means of sanctification…. but also the way of salvation through Christ Jesus.

So now the ball was in my court…. I was standing there at the 3pt line with an open shot……. but I was too scared to shoot…….I didn’t want to miss the mark…I was tired of failing.

Each time God would pass me the ball of sanctification….. I would do well for a season but at the last minute buzzer…***BBUZZZZZ***… I would choke.

Back on the bench I’d go

I later learned it was my inability to ACKNOWLEDGE…. ACCEPT….. and then GIVE OVER my desires to the Lord that kept me going back to the bench of sin….head hung low…. and waiting for another chance to get back in the game…I sat and marked time.

….I wasn’t being honest with myself …I couldn’t battle this thing on my own…I needed God’s help…. There was no accountability to do right….and I refused to commit to doing my part…and  it became more and more of a struggle to live right…instead of the intended blessing He promised. I needed His help!

I was blinded by my own lust for the things "I" wanted  that I couldn’t see that “Me” was the one delaying my deliverance.

I sincerely began to ask God to show me where I had fallen short…. He then allowed me to see that if I….

kept myself out of the places that provoked…

away from the people that enticed….

or avoided the influences that provided the suggestion to sin….

then and only then would I be on the right road…..but as soon as I stepped out of place here came the downfall.

  

The bible says in James 1:14 “we are tempted when we are drawn away by our own lust.”

What is Lust: an intense desire or appetite…. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving.

Basically  what you crave or desire becomes your master..that’s where the sin lies. Something outside of God being your driving force.

So if you lust after money you will be uncontrollably drawn to things that either produce money…. relate to it… or are a reflection of it..it becomes the dictating force in your life even if that includes getting involved in illegal activity to obtain it.

If you lust for sexual things…. anything sexually related may stimulate your desire to gratify that lust..whether promiscuity or other perverse behavior.

Your flesh becomes the master over your emotions you began to react through your instinctive carnal nature verses the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Animal function on instinct…humans function on intellect and logical reasoning.

We have to allow the Holy Spirit to regain control over our emotions and our flesh…we say  with our mouths… that we want to be delivered but…what is our heart saying?


"'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. –Matt15:8

We say out of our mouths keep me Lord, help me Lord but as soon as that temptation comes near that “ keep me” turns in to a “Lord give me”.

What are we doing to be kept?

I have always been taught that the Holy Spirit is a gentleman and that He will not force us to do anything…that we have to freely submit to him and then He can freely operate in our lives….. But some of us want Him to play tug of war with our flesh…. we don’t want to give up what WE WANT even when Christ is telling us to let it go….

The Holy Spirit is not a bully, He will not force us to live right but He will lead and guide us into righteous living. We think we’re winning the battle but ultimately we’re losing the war. Proverbs 16:25:

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. 

See God gave me this illustration one Saturday night of how God is there when we need Him and how His power is infinite (limitless) when we allow Him to operate in His full capacity. 

I remember growing up in my grandma’s house in Arlington…. almost everyone around the way had a screen door.

Some were old and rusty, while others were pretty and made of iron.

All in all they served a purpose…

One to allow a breeze to flow into the house (because many didn’t have AC)

Two to keep the flies out

Three as the older folks used to say “to keep the devil out” or in other words to provide a minimal amount of privacy and protection when you had the front door open.

Some kept their screen doors locked…while others kept theirs unlocked and welcomed any and everyone that passed by.

When the Lord showed me this illustration, he then let me know that Jesus is like that screen door.

He’s there to “screen” us from things that may cause us harm.

Some maybe minor insignificant things that we’ll label as (FLIES) these things fly by and we never even know that he’s shielding us from them b/c they never make it into the house.. These are the weapons that the bible speaks of that are formed but never prosper.

Then there are the greater dangers that we’ve talked about earlier…these are the things that we lust after money, sex, status, power, food, drugs….things that will cause us to fall and compromise our walk with God if we let them into our hearts.

Now remember our heart is the front door and it’s open….and Jesus is the screen …

His purpose as the screen is”

Provide a fresh anointing

Shield us from the darts, arrows and weapons of the adversary

To keep the devil out. 

So He is serving His purpose but the screen is only as strong as the lock you have on it. (Just knowing who Jesus is without allowing the Holy Spirit to rule leaves you subject to intruders of sin)

The lock preserves the integrity of the door which guards your heart….The Holy Spirit is that lock.

2 Timothy 1:12 nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 

Christ is able to keep “what we’re willing” to commit to him.  But what we fail to realize is He won’t force us to hand it over.

When you override the Holy Spirit and allow lust to enter into your heart and remain you will eventually be overtaken by it…. it is no longer considered an intruder but it has now become your welcomed guest.

Titus 1:16

They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate- (deny salvation to somebody: to condemn somebody to eternal damnation) only God can change a reprobated mind.

We can’t refuse to do our part by not utilizing the tools God has given us that keep us walking upright….Tools being our Advocate Jesus Christ and our Guide The Holy Spirit.

We have to obey the Holy Spirit as He leads us… I am a witness He will lead and guide you into righteous living if you’re willing to obey.

So when the drawing begins and you feel yourself being baited in to follow after the lust of your flesh the bible says in

 2 Corinthians 10:5 "Cast down the imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ..." 

When you cast down these imaginations…. you’re putting the lock on the screen door (this is guarding your heart)…when you bring them into captivity to the obedience of Christ you’re allowing the screen which is Jesus to filter the sin through His blood…this prepares you for that fresh anointing of deliverance to flow through. 

I just want you to see that in order for God to do His part we have to yield to His Authority by:

First acknowledging that there is a need for deliverance.

 (He knows what’s best for us more so than we are aware)

Secondly repenting (turn from your sin) of our sins and coming boldly to the throne of grace… Hebrews 4:16 "Let us come boldly to the throne of grace, so we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" 

Thirdly…accepting the redemption that Christ paid for on the cross. (Forgiving yourself and moving forward) 

Fourthly seeking God to be filled of more of Him and less of the worldly things we’ve picked up.

God wants us to live a life of purpose…He’s waiting to pass you the ball…but once you get it…will you take the shot??? Or will you choke and be forced to go back on the bench of sin....watching and cheering for everyone else on the sidelines 

I can now say with the same confidence “God is a keeper”… but it wasn’t until I allowed Him to be the screen door of my heart that I achieved my deliverance. 


                                                           God can keep you if you want to be kept.

 <3 you China Rice